Drop Box

Today, three different Facebook friends and The Gospel Coalition posted a video in their news feeds about a Korean preacher who takes in orphans. The preacher created what's now known as "the drop box." It's a large mail-like slot in a wall adjoined to his house, and it's just large enough for a mother to place an unwanted newborn. Most of these newborns have physical disabilities. This preacher takes them in, feeds them, clothes them, loves on them. In Jesus' name.

I watched the video four times. I cried like a baby all. four. times.

Becoming a mother changes a woman, no doubt. I, for one, sleep less, exercise never, and seriously cannot recall the last time I went in a store to shop for clothes, unless Target counts-- which is where I purchase my groceries, feminine products, and clothing. But I have become more than just sleep deprived, flabby, and thrifty.

I have become acutely aware of my sinfulness in light of His holiness.

There is something about motherhood that makes me realize how big His grace is, even amidst the world's brokeness.  I am more sensitive to His patience with my tantrums. I have a much lower threshold for injustice. And I realize more than ever how much His heart breaks when His children are in pain.

There's a particular verse in the Bible that troubled me before I was a mother, particularly when I was walking through four agonizing years of infertility. 

1 Timothy 2:15 reads "Women will be saved through childbearing--if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety."

What is that suppose to mean? Surely this can't be a salvation verse; that would contradict the rest of scripture. And what about women who can't birth children?

I’ve read a few hermeneutical articles, listened to a few exegetical sermons. And I’ve come to this conclusion: Motherhood is hard. Like, really, really, really hard. But it is also refining. Like, really, really, really refining. 

Motherhood has saved me from myself. It has and continues to undress my selfishness, pride, entitlement, idols,... In it's place the Lord cleanses those old wounds and makes beauty from ashes. 

Why? 

Because He said He would. I press in with faith, love, and holiness, and He in turn makes all things new and beautiful. I get the blessing. He gets the glory.

The Lord has also revealed another truth about this verse to me: You don't have to be a mother to be saved through childbearing. I don't think it's the least bit blasphemous to think the word "childbearing" is synonymous with terms like child rearing or child caring. 

This man is the first "mother" I hope to meet when I walk through Heaven's gates.

The Drop Box

"The Drop Box" - Documentary PROMO from Brian Ivie on Vimeo.

TGC

Christopher Update

Not long ago, I resuscitated this blog (after it spent 4 years on life support) so my Texas family and friends could keep up with Christopher. But it turns out, Instagram, Facebook, and FaceTime keep loved ones pretty well abreast with the little guy's development. What pictures don't communicate, however, are all the ways Christopher is learning to communicate; so, I thought it prudent to document the little man's growing vocabulary. Here's a list of the words Christopher attempts and ways he's using them:

"tank ew" Thank you. He uses this any time you hand him something; he hands you something; he takes something from you. It's pretty cute.

"GaGa!" Gatsby. Or Lady Gaga?

"Dada." Daddy. It's used interchangeably with Craig and me.

"Ah mama." Momma. He says it rarely and only when he really wants something, like out of his crib.

"Eee I Eee I Ooo!" The chorus to Old McDonald. He sings and claps to it, and it's pretty darn precious.

"Banannna!!!" He yells this word whenever he sees the fruit.

"Baba" Bubba? We think. We call him Bubba, Bubba Tophs, Bubbers. Maybe he thinks it's his name?

"Baff." Bath. Man, does this kids love his bath. We bathe him every night, and we have our little routine. I shudder to think the meltdown that might occur if we skipped it.

There may be a few other words, but this is the gist of them. It's amazing to me how much the little guy understands. Christopher responds to complex requests like, "Bring me your shoes" and "give mommy kisses." But, of course, he can't say these things yet.

At this stage in his life, the thing I love most about Christopher is his little personality. He has all of Craig's charm and all of my stubbornness. This little guy really enjoys making others laugh, and there is nothing he likes more than for you to make him laugh. Christopher has the deepest, most contagious belly laugh. He wants to be chased, tickled, found, and so on. I also love my little man's stubborn will. He will stand his ground and shake his head "No!" to healthy foods, diaper changes, and the car seat. He'll look me straight in the eyes as if to say, "I'm serious, Mom." But then he lets out a deep laugh and all is forgotten. I'm fairly obsessed with his little persona. :)

Christopher's 1 year photo session

If you live in the San Diego area, Sean Walker is a great photographer!
http://www.seanwalkerphotography.com/

Happy 9 months, Topher! I'm kind of obsessed with you.

Seriously, the best looking baby ever. Ever.

Thanks for the pictures, Aunt Holly!

My heart might explode.

"Hi, Gatsby!"

"What's that hanging from your neck?"

"Let me just take a look..."

"Maybe I ought to have a taste."

Family pictures

Early morning playtime. I'm in Craig's boxers. It's my blog; don't judge.

iPhone photo shoot. I just love him.

I've been dying to dress him in this outfit. Craig is dying because I did. ;)